A couple of things have happened within me in the last couple of days. The kind of a-ha! moments that don’t always take place when they are truly needed. But maybe my luck is changing as I no longer feel the fear that has resided within me this last year and a half. Don’t get me wrong it’s still scary, but I no longer feel paralyzed by it.
Coming to a better understanding of how the mind of the covert-narcissist agressive personality operates has made me see that I no longer wish to play his victim. This is different than just knowing that I’ve been his victim, it’s seeing the motivations behind why he does the things that he does, that allows me to “step-out” of feeling sorry for him, which made me allow him to treat me this way. I’m pretty sure the way I’ve said is confusing so PLEASE PLEASE take the time and read these series of articles about the COVERT-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY by Dr. Simon George PhD.
These articles about manipulation, evasive answers, responsibility, aggression, intimidation, blaming, rationalizations, minmalizations, acting innocent are just a few of the categories he addresses. Reading the entire series made me “open my eyes” as to why nothing seemed to really make the situation better. Knowing that the choices he made about he handled his end of things was unspoken dialogue of the “him” I never “saw” before. I will no longer give him the excuses to cover up his deceptions. He will have to figure this one out on his own. My hand holding is over!! I’ll share the second a-ha! moment/article with you tomorrow!