A private investigator-answers once and for all???

I realized that I might not ever let it go until I knew if he was still in contact with her. I knew I couldn’t get the answer I needed from him.  What alternatives did I have? I’m certain many BS have had the thought of hiring a private investigator.  But I’ve never seen anything that indicates anyone on any of the blogs I follow actually had actually done so.

I had thought that hiring a private investigator would provide me those answers.  It really did not, although the PI seemed to think he was not still involved with her.  But how could he say that with the service he provided me. Besides if it is only an emotional affair- tracking really wouldn’t show that.

Let me explain.  Hired the PI in November.  He was to place a gps tracker on husband’s vehicle and then send  reports, to my Mom’s e-mail (didn’t want to take a chance he could see my e-mails).  I also had some other questions (did he purchase any property without my knowledge?  Does he have an child with another?  Hidden financials?) The amount I paid ($500.00) didn’t cover that but he said he would give me info on how to do that research myself. So I waited for the first report.

And I waited, and nothing, no report, no call.  Contacted him, says will send report.  (Had to ask three times). Finally something arrives Mom’s e-mail.  But it says file too large or something and I have to contact him again and ask to resend.  It arrives, print it out and then begin to deceipher.  The pages had to be matched and taped together just so I could read it. Very difficult to read, the times seemed off (he had not set it to pacific daylight time and I had to adjust all times by two hours.  It was somewhat confusing.  And after figuring it out it appeared it had not tracked after a certain date.  Why?

Finally get a hold of him and the battery had died over two weeks ago – no tracking.  WTF!  Oh he says he’ll get a new battery in asap.  Actually took about a week .  I stressed to him the urgency as I felt during the holidays would be a time he would be in contact with her, and since we were to be gone at the end of Dec.  There was only a little time that would actually track since we would be on vacation.

I waited again for the next report, nothing.  I contacted him- was to send -then nothing again.  Finally got a hold of him and he tells me gonna send report again.  I start to complain.  This is bullshit.   I wanted the next report NOW.  So I pleaded with him, PLEASE let me access the livewire site directly.  It would be January before we knew it and I had hoped to have answers BEFORE my anniversary at the end of Jan.  After a little back and forth he finally agreed and gave me the code so I could see reports on line.  This was much better.  It was live tracking and gave me access to much more information than just the print out.

There didn’t appear to be one place that he went regularly or that he had left work early and not told me.  But with less than two weeks of consecutive tracking, how could I be sure.  About the third week of January, I hadn’t checked report for about 10 days and when I went to assess, it again appeared that it had stopped tracking.  OMG are you #$%@* kidding me? Again? It was very easy to check the battery life on the livewire site- why was he not checking it? I could tell that he basically put charged tracker on but again never went back to check the battery life.  I was blown away.  Almost three months of his services and I still couldn’t get longer than a two week record (with much time unreported due to his negligence.)  REALLY NOT HAPPY. Attempt to get a hold of him, I continue to get the answering service leaving messages -no return call. I took the tracker off the car myself and was holding on to it until he would return my calls

I finally got irate with the service and said that if he didn’t contact me today all hell was going to break loose.  Oh yeah called me right back this time.  Apologized again, and was to put another charged tracker on (takes like a week).  So much for having answers before anniversary.

A couple of weeks into Feb.  he contacts me and tells me he needs to get tracker back.  Really?  You can’t even provide the service I paid for ( uninterrupted tracking or the extra information he had promised) and you want to end the tracking?

How professional was that? What kind of PI are you?  Then he gave me some cock’n’bull story about ordering a new one but needed to start this other client and would get a new one to me asap.  Well I think you can guess how that worked out.  Basically he blew me off.  AUUGGGGHHHHH!!

Finally I sent a letter expressing my total disappointment with his services, I felt he had not lived up to his obligation to me and my case was handled totally unprofessional.  I never heard from him.  I told my Mom that if she wanted to sue him it was up to her (her credit card was used).  But that I was done with him.  I reported to the BBB and will never recommend him ever.  As a matter of fact I would like to expose him as a rip-off.  But I haven’t yet.  I had needed a break after this two-year long nightmare that had become my life.   Was I back to square one?  Does this nightmare ever end?

P.S.  I’ve learned a lot on my own about effective surveillance and I will share those tips in another post.


3 thoughts on “A private investigator-answers once and for all???

  1. chely5150 says:

    Oh yes the phone records and I are very well acquinted. Your absolutely right I was able to learn more on my own than PI ever did for me. Our phone records (especially the old ones we had -going back 10 years -they had been ordered reprints after sons had cell phones and constantly had overages-husband NEVER throws anything away-gave answers to many questions about past timelines and his phone activity. Old receipts were also very helpful. Never could put any spy program on his phone he locked it after d-day. We have new ones now his with no lock – but equipped with incognito mode so can hide any activity he wants to. The best things I did were -daily coming & going journals- including what worn and attitudes both go/come, a receipt calander – all receipts logged on calendar so easy reference to bank statements etc. I do have tracking thru service provider AT&T on his phone so I can check his whereabouts of his phone -always possible he could leave it at work, but dont know-he does have work e-mail, computer and desk phone. But your absolutely right that once you reach a certain point I just have to realize ill never have all the answers. I had never written about the experience yet and realize I did abetter job on my own (although when the phone gps and car gps were both on I could double check where he told me he was-that was kinda nice) I had hoped PI would of taken the madness out of searching, make it easier but about that I was definitely wrong. Thanks for sharing your ideas -some of the best come from other BS.


  2. …mind you…as much as you have been going through hell, has your husband allowed complete transparency with things like FB, email, cell phone, etc? I was going crazy checking things like cell phone logs and email, I eventually had to stop because it was like I was hoping to catch him in the act…I had to realize that he was being completely transparent and eventually I had to stop. I can’t begin to rebuild trust if I’m not willing to relax a little and let down my guard…not completely, just a little. If he is being honest and transparent, then maybe just relax a little…if he is being secretive and closed off and freaks out when you get near his phone, you have reason so worry. If he won’t let you have his passwords, or access to his personal devices…you have reason to worry. I can’t give you advice based on work related devices…but personal devices you should have free-reign with, and if you don’t, you have reason to confront him.


  3. Some things you may have been able to do yourself…if you ever have access to his cell phone you can place a gps tracker right on his phone…allows you eat time access to where he is at all times…you can also check his phone logs. For instance, I had discovered my husband wasn’t where he had claimed to be because he had made a phone call and because he was out of our area, it showed on the cell phone record where he was when he placed the call. There are also other ways you could have tracked his whereabouts, such as with a GPS tracker that you get at a local electronics store….would have cost you a fifth of what the PI cost you, and you would have been basically doing the exact same thing you were doing. I found out more information by looking through email accounts and cell phone logs than anything else…


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