I have been told many times that I am too sensitive, too emotional. For the most part, I guess you could say I somewhat agree with that. I know I can get all teared up over what some wouldn’t even bat an eyelash at. I call these tears of recognition </em>. I’m not wanting to save the world (tough enough time just saving myself) they are the way I show I have feelings and emotions within me. The things I do, the things I believe are true to my heart. The ability to see and feel the hurt and troubles of others. Also known to many as empathy, the ability to stand in another’s shoes and see from that vantage point. Yes, when you possess empathy, you can see things from another’s point of few.
When you possess this quality many things can trigger those T.O.R.. Movies, many scenes in movies bring tears to these eyes & those commercials about the abused animals requesting donations, impoverished children waiting for my sponsorship. I don’t think I change these sad situations, my tears are just recognition of pain that another is feeling. Closer to home, comments made during a conversation that truthfully are not directed at me but somehow resonate within me as I know I am lacking/slacking on particular subject. Yes I know that I am not perfect, actually so far from it that sometimes reality bites. Yes with empathy I can even see the short comings of myself. ( more TOR).
And I used to think that my sensitivity made me special in some way. That I was more in touch with my feelings, not in denial like I thought others must be (especially spouse). I felt like I was the stronger because I knew what emotions get stirred within me, that I was more oh let’s call it “well rounded” because I didn’t close those emotions out.
However my opinion has changed a little bit, because in today’s world that is not the norm. Not that there aren’t others who have these same qualities, just it seems our world has less tolerance of people’s feelings and emotions. It’s tough to make it in this “dog devour as many dogs as you can” world we live in today. There isn’t a lot of room for emotional thoughts on this narcissistic planet. We live in the “what can you do for me” world. That attitude is taking over the place inside of individuals where compassion and empathy used to live.
I have been called a marshmellow by my husband, also the animal whisperer. Because he knows how big my heart is and uses it(I’m pretty sure) to his advantage. I will not ever, not for one minute be ashamed of my emotions. I am a caring, passionate, empathetic, strong woman who will not apologize for my tears of recognition. Whether they come from caring for myself, a moment of pity party, or because something about another touches me, I am not afraid of my emotions and I will let them shine.
Even if it makes me “prey” in this world we live in? Can you say groomed to be co-dependant growing up?”
Yep, I own my tears of recognition. My narcissist does not posess tears of recognition for himself or anyone. Even with his eyes wide open, he will never shed a tear that recognizes the suffering of another.
Sad to be missing such a big part of what makes us different from all living things.