Okay- nobody fall over I’m actually posting without my little wordpress reminder letting me  know it’s time.  (Whatever made me think I could do a post a day? I LOL myself)  Anyway husband and I have plans this weekend with another couple we’ve  known for a long time.  I’m a HUGE, HUGE San Francisco Giants (major league baseball if your not familiar) fan and on Saturday we’re going to the game in SF, that evening going to ride some jet boats (not really my thing, but I ‘ll go enthusiastically), staying overnight and then going to a car show (hubby loves these – i’m ok with them – wish he’d finish the truck he’s been restoring for 15 years so we could really be a part of these more) in Half Moon Bay. Great location – one of my favorite places.  NO KIDS (or young adults). Thank-heaven we’ve finally reached the point where it can be just the two of us (or with other adults/couples).  Not that we don’t and haven’t  enjoyed  family trips as well. 

That definitely would be one of the positive things in remembering our past.  We have been able to go with the boys to some amazing places, exciting adventures, learning and exploring whether on a cruise or just camping or backpacking.  We spent many years in the Boy Scouts and that was always a good thing.  That’s where we meet the friends going away  with us this weekend.  Back to my thoughts here sorry. The other day husband and I were talking about a past event and it was funny how I remembered certain things and he others, both valid just funny how different things adhere to our memories.  I wonder what memory each boy would have of the same event.  When you recall that memory you are brought back to the emotion you felt when it was made.  It’s a good way to start getting more positive thoughts in your head. 

The laws of attraction state generally speaking you will attract the energy that you yourself put out.  In other words if you have a nasty disposition that’s probably what you’ll get back from the people around you.  So you can’t spend everyday putting out negative, especially if you’re trying to save your marriage after any crisis/trauma (infidelity).  It just won’t work.  So you’ve got to put out some positive energy folks or you’ve got a really, really big challenge in repair to your fractured relationship.  So  here are my tips for “How to treat the one “you say you love” if you want them to love you again.   OR   Don’t let the spark in your love for one another fade away!!

 

     1.  Treat them like it’s your last day on earth together:  if they leave the seat up &dirty clothes on the floor-AGAIN, would it really matter if either of you were dead tomorrow.

     2.   Don’t forget to let them know you appreciate them for all they do:  yes they will forget to do things, or make decisions we’re not always happy with so remember the things that they DO more often than the things they don’t and tell them.

     3.   Always hug and greet/say goodbye to your partner by their given name, it shows you respect them as a person. Save the endearing terms ( honey, baby etc.) for your regular  conversations.

    4.   If you’re not feeling it a the moment -pretend – ACT LOVINGLY (not syrupy, goo goo eyes) show kindess in your words, tone of voice, and actions towards each other pretty soon the feeling comes more naturally.

     5.   Remember back to when you fell in love!  Close your eyes remember how your heart felt, your body, your emotions.  Bring that strength of emotion to be together and share together , back into your heart.

     6.  Make a habit of spending time just the two of you, not matter what it is.  Sometimes it might be gardening, shopping, folding laundry taking a nap.  Sometimes it needs to be a date -dinner,  dancing, bird watching, the monster trucks,  weekend away or a Cancun vacation  whatever fits with the two of you and your style.

     7. Flirt, tease, romance your partner keep that spark and sex life ALIVE.  Try something new ; text him sexy messages several times during a day (you really want results send a slighty naughty picture of yourself  as well)  see how he behaves when he gets home .  You yield a lot of power when you fulfill their fantasies, be open minded within reason. Try a new location, position, massage oil, toys – i’m sure you can think of something .

     8.  Hold your breathe!  When anger and vengeance want to spew from your lips take a deep breathe, release slowly, then reframe what you wanted to say to not cross to the dark side ( otherwise known as the blame game).

     9.  Do ask yourself what one little thing could I do today- that’s not expected – to make their world a better place.  Wash their car, clothes, bring ’em a bottle of water when their outside working hard anything (more a gesture than a gift although small gifts are ok too) that shows you put thought into making your life together a happy place.

    10.  ALWAYS SLEEP NAKED!  That doesn’t mean sex every night at all- simply it’s very hard to remain angry when your bare skin is snuggled together as you drift off to sleep! 

 

 

So there’s my list.  You don’t necessarily have to agree with me (but no snickering either) it’s simply my list.  Make up your own or feel free to add your suggestions below and i’ll incorporate a master list at some point.  Most important whatever you do, do something to keep your love alive! 

GO GIANTS!!        

  

Ten tips on how to keep/bring back love into your relationship

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